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    Home Unlabelled Dwarf Fortress B-But I'm literally 1 second on my new elf run..

    Dwarf Fortress B-But I'm literally 1 second on my new elf run..

    August 15, 2021

    Dwarf Fortress B-But I'm literally 1 second on my new elf run..

    B-But I'm literally 1 second on my new elf run..

    Posted: 15 Aug 2021 07:03 AM PDT

    The forgotten Beast Lòmifo has come! A gigantic noseless eight-legged chinchilla. Drawn in MSPaint, before my military reduced it to dwarf food.

    Posted: 15 Aug 2021 07:34 AM PDT

    Dwarf Fortress Gladiator Tournament VI: Quarterfinals

    Posted: 15 Aug 2021 10:04 AM PDT

    Hear ye, hear ye! The Quarterfinals of the Tournament are about to begin! Be prepared, our dearest spectators, for more bloodshed, more glory and more death. Today, eight worthy fighters shall enter the arena… and four will leave it. May we see Armok/s judgement of worth and enjoy the show again. Are you ready? Let us begin!

    4A: MACHO CRAB SANDY RAVAGE the Crab Man vs Treadwell the Grizzly Bear Man

    Combat Log

    Video

    MACHO CRAB SANDY RAVAGE (managed by u/imperator1123) shifts his weight easily from foot to foot. He put all those punks he faced in the ground, 6 feet under, down to sleep with his fishy friends, and he's not going to give up and join them now. He's been sure to enlist a personal trainer to help himself increase his skills quickly in the short time that's available to him (Consumption of some of the good stuff also helped him stay awake that whole time, but who's going to check for that?).

    Treadwell (managed by u/Narwhal_Rider) yawns sleepily as he steps out onto the arena floor. He seems to have been saving his energy, biding his time for the more dangerous next rounds. Does he want to purchase something big? Or does he not consider the Chief of the Reef, the terror of the shallows, the typhoon of knife wounds, to actually be a threat? (Oh, the crab man doesn't seem to have liked that very much. Quick, hit the bell!)

    The angered crab man rushes at his foe, who parries his first strike, and, in a seeming attempt to humiliate him yet again by dropping him to the floor, slaps at his leg with his steel longsword. However, MACHO CRAB SANDY RAVAGE's low iron boots protect him, and he viciously returns the favor by stabbing him in the right upper leg, toppling the larger Treadwell to the ground.

    On his way down, Treadwell stabs out with his longsword, producing a cracking noise as it crunches through a portion of MACHO CRAB SANDY RAVAGE's iron mail shirt and into his chitin. MACHO CRAB SANDY RAVAGE performs a masterful one-two strike in response, first shattering his foe's left femur with the pommel of his dagger, then slashing upwards into his left arm, rendering it useless, and causing him to drop his sword.

    MACHO CRAB SANDY RAVAGE then enters into a whirlwind of slashes and stabs, in which Treadwell's blood thorn shield and left lower leg are sent flying in showers of blood. Finally, the crab man plunges his dagger into his downed foe's head, cracking the skull on the first stab, and splitting it open entirely on the second. Congratulations MACHO CRAB SANDY RAVAGE! Your anger has served you well again.

    4B: Tholtig II the Dwarf vs Slitherfuk the Magnificent Anaconda Man

    Combat Log

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    Slitherfuk (managed by u/flaccidusmanager) twirls his twin short swords of iron and steel playfully, rearing up on his armored tail and pointing them downwards so that he resembles a rearing snake head about to bite. His show elicits a cheer from his fans in the crowd, but the many dwarves remain noticeably silent. The snakeman did not aim for the nigh-invulnerability of adamantine, as many predicted, but has instead picked up his second sword, and practiced long and hard with wielding. But will it be enough?

    Dwarves are simple folk. After a long day of work in the mines or a workshop, it is their fondest dream to drink, eat, and talk with friends, then go to sleep in a bedroom with a cabinet and chest to store their clothes. Tholtig (managed by u/Morpheus_Darkwater) does not see the appeal offered by the decadent snake man as she walks onto the sands clad in her new steel armor, and hefting a steel battleaxe, "Avenger", to the cheers of the dwarves. As she traveled from fort to fort after the fall of Circletower, it was always a weakness to demand excess wealth and pleasure. After all, it was her experience nobles who made ridiculous mandates and demands of their people had a drastically shorter life span than those that didn't.

    The two figures clash in the center of the arena, their blades beating out the sacred music of battle. Both are heavily armored, and both are highly skilled with their respective weapons. And so they dance, one a sturdy figure clad entirely in silver steel, wielding a flashing battle axe that crashes into opposing armor and parrying blades, remaining still and stubborn in her ground. The other flows and shifts sinuously to avoid the crashing axe blade, ebbing and flowing with strikes and blows like the tide.

    But no dance can last forever. With a flick of his blade, he slashes open Tholtig's upper lip. The dwarven lady spits the blood out of her mouth onto the sand, and as she prepares another strike, Slitherfuk stabs her hard in the right thigh, overextending the leg, and sending Tholtig II to the ground. Tholtig continues to hack at Slitherfuk, even throwing the odd bite and kick in there, but the anaconda man continues to be oblivious to her blows. Snapping his jaws forward, he encloses them around her weapon hand. The dwarves draw in their breath as Tholtig II struggles to free it, but before she can, Slitherfuk begins to shake his head wildly.

    Tholtig II is thrown wildly around, the Avenger flying away from her crumpled hand as she is dropped unceremoniously to the ground. The dwarves of the crowd groan in agony, but Tholtig seems unable to hear them, as she continues to fight, biting, scratching, and kicking. Slitherfuk eventually joins her on the ground, tired out as he is by his constant hammering on her armor.

    Slitherfuk is the one who is able to land decisive blows though, slapping her hard in the right leg, causing it to be forced at an awkward angle, then punching her hard in the chest, after which she begins to wheeze and pant for breath. Eventually, Tholtig passes out, lying on the ground.

    Slitherfuk then begins to...oh sweet Armok he's not really...oh he is. He...he begins to twist and contort the limbs of the unconscious Tholtig in every which way, some of which...some of which look like the positions of his trade too. The dwarves begin to howl in rage, throwing the various things they have on them at the salacious serpent. Slitherfuk then bends several of Tholtig's joints too far, producing audible pops and snaps. It seems he's used to a greater range of motion. Finally, Slitherfuk strangles the downed Tholtig II, putting her out of this world, and into the next (Bloody Armok, someone tell Urist McSecurity to double the guard, there's going to be lots of tantrums tonight).

    4C: Duke Grubugosh the Worm Man vs Sirus Windpaw the Cheetah Woman

    Combat Log

    Video

    Duke Grubugosh (managed by u/FedoraFinder) slithers proudly onto the arena. The Worm Man's body glistens an iridescent blue, from head to tail, cloaked entirely as he is in adamantine mail, gauntlets, and a helm. The Duke flexes his left hand, gingerly testing out the repaired appendage. You know, it feels good as new. Maybe he will be able to write out his poetry properly with it. Or he'll have something to blame for his subpar rhyme-smithing skills.

    Sirius Windpaw (managed by u/Meatyblues) has been a formidable fighter in the arena. She skipped her way through the heavy battle royale, racking up an envious total of 7 kills (some of which were obtained by finishing off downed or distracted foes), and has slashed her way easily through all but her last opponent, who managed to grievously cut her in the chest. But can the humming Windcutter hope to penetrate its own material that the Duke wears, or will the worm man's fragile body give out before his protective armor?

    Both foes dodge and duck agilely around the others strikes, but Sirus is the one who is able to land the first couple of blows with her humming blade. Unfortunately, the duke's armor holds firm, and he barely seems to notice the strikes. The duke then lands a solid blow to Sirus' chest, knocking the wind out of her, before landing another on her right thigh. Unfortunately, it isn't enough to knock her down, as the two continue to weave around the other.

    The Duke continues to work on Sirus' right leg, but is unable to take her to the ground. Changing tactics, he instead lands an uppercut into her gut, causing her to vomit, then smashes her in the tail, making Sirus yowl in pain. With a snap of bone, the Duke next punches the cheetah woman in her left forearm, causing her to drop Wind Cutter.

    With no more threat presented to him, the Duke whales on Sirus, breaking her hands and fingers with his punches, all while landing blows on her chest and stomach to keep her off balance while she staggers backwards. One blow seems to land particularly hard, as the cheetah woman's legs go limp, and she collapses to the ground. Once on the ground, Duke Grubugosh smashes one of Sirus' eyes, causing the orb to splatter apart into jelly, and knocking the head back. Deciding that there is no more fight left in his battered opponent, the Duke removed Sirus' helm, and with a quick series of 5 alternating punches, caves her head in. Congratulations Duke Grubugosh! The martial artist aficionados of the crowd rejoice at their new champion, as the Duke has now surpassed Kisat Dur, who fell to the infamous Paul in the 4th round of Tournament IV.

    4D: Borm of the South the Polar Bear Man vs Ironhorn the Minotaur

    Combat Log

    Video

    Borm (managed by u/TeflonPrince) stands ready, wielding a new steel halberd. He is now stripped of his slag iron slave armor, and wears only a silk shirt. The Polar Bear man has defied many odds to be here, along with the will of his own father, but through it all, he has persevered. Can he persevere against the raging wall of muscle that is Ironhorn the minotaur though?

    Ironhorn (managed by u/arbyD) seems intent on answering "no" to that question. It's not often that a minotaur is towered over by another creature in our arena, but Borm is definitely bigger and taller than the bull man. The minotaur merely snorts out hot clouds of breath, and paws at the ground with a hoof. All this waiting reminds him too much of those icky press conferences his manager forced him to do.

    Borm and Ironhorn lunge at one another, with Borm landing a crippling blow to the minotaur's right leg, laying him out on the ground. As he falls though, he strikes the Polar Bear man in his right arm and hand. He then lands a glancing blow on his foe's left weapon hand, but it is not severe enough to cause Borm to lose hold of his halberd.

    Borm swiftly makes Ironhorn regret this failure, as he sweeps the axehead of the halberd singlehandedly through the center of his chest. A massive gash is opened up, and thick, red blood begins to pump from the wound, flowing a little more with every traitorous beat of the minotaurs ruined heart.

    The minotaur bellows in rage, stabbing Borm in the chest and left arm, making him drop his halberd a moment too late. Ironhorn knows he's now racing against time to slay his opponent, and begins to wildly stab him in the arms and the chest. However, for all the holes he punches in him, they can't compare with the gash in his chest that flows blood down his chest. The minotaur's strikes become increasingly feeble, and finally, he flops to the sandy ground, his body soaked in his own blood. Congratulations Borm!

    ———

    And with that, yet another round comes to an end. We hope you enjoyed the combat today, and we wish you a most pleasant day. Don't travel alone at night!

    ——— Tournament run by u/Black_Griffin23

    Fights narrated by u/Mkhos Betting run by u/Mkhos

    submitted by /u/Black_Griffin23
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    Three new cards including the first draft of the backside [OC]

    Posted: 15 Aug 2021 01:12 AM PDT

    OIL! (or: idle fantasies about the addition of black gold to the beloved game).

    Posted: 15 Aug 2021 03:02 AM PDT

    You know what be great in this game? Oil.

    Big, subterranean reservoirs of oil. Viscous*, flowing, and flammable. Imagine - mining out your fort, digging some bedrooms, when suddenly the black gold comes pouring out of the rock.

    There could be entire layers of it - maybe like aquafers? Maybe like subterranean magma.

    You could designate collection zones, where your dwarves would gather it up in barrels. To sell, to use (though Armok only knows to what end), to store idly in poorly designated stockpiles until you inevitably forget about it and a single barrel becomes exposed to naked flame...

    FUN times.

    (*Though probably no more viscous than DF's water, which is basically blue molasses.)

    submitted by /u/_Eskalat_
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    The Dragon-Domain of Dawn: the most aesthetic region I've generated yet

    Posted: 14 Aug 2021 06:11 PM PDT

    there is an insane amount of glowing metal in the sand in my most recent embark. Besides changing the race I am playing form dwarves to goblins(not in dark fortresses or anything so this is super vanilla) there are absolutely no mods. too bad I cant smelt it, I can however make shortswords.

    Posted: 14 Aug 2021 08:24 PM PDT

    Dwarf Fortress Gladiator Tournament VI - Round 5 Betting

    Posted: 15 Aug 2021 11:36 AM PDT

    Another round, where money is made, and money is lost! Not that much was lost this round, you canny bettors seem to have picked out who the winners and losers would be quite easily. Duke Grubugosh, MACHO CRAB SANDY RAVAGE, and Slitherfuk were all the most bet on gladiators in that order, and each one went on to victory. u/FedoraFinder was also the richest Urist again, with a total of 678 gold. Results can be found on the master document.

    All bets for round 5 are due by 8/22/21, at 17 GMT.

    submitted by /u/Mkhos
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    Not too sure on how I lost this...took too long to go through the mission report

    Posted: 14 Aug 2021 06:35 PM PDT

    Seige

    Posted: 14 Aug 2021 06:09 PM PDT

    Anyone else have an undead seige before the second year whilst not being near haunted areas?

    submitted by /u/0trash_mammal0
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